Monthly archive

April 2019

A Man’s Guide to Leading Women in the Sea Services

in Leadership

This post originally appeared on the USNI Blog here.

Take a look at this picture.  This is (probably) a White House summit on women in the military.  Notice something about the people around the table? It’s pretty obvious who’s missing… that’s right, me!  Clearly, you men need my advice on how to lead women in the sea services.  Women are an important, congressionally-mandated part of our force, and we need to figure out how to lead them so they stay in the military and stop writing books.

Army Colonel Jo Rusin set the standard with his book “Women on Your Team: A Man’s Guide to Leading Women.”  Colonel Rusin lays it all out like only a man could do, so I thought I’d adapt the guide to a naval audience.  Now, we’ve all heard the terms “mansplain” and “hepeat,” which are blatant attempts to poke fun at men and undermine our authority.  Since these tried-and-true leadership techniques are under attack, here are some new tips for getting women to contribute to your lethality.

  1. Use their skills wisely. Don’t make them do things they’re not good at, like leadership and math.  Instead, assign them duties in line with their natural skill set, like coordinating social activities, to free up the men to do the hard work.
  2. Choose your language carefully. When communicating with women, replace aggressive or technical terms with emotional words. “This formation allows us to better ‘hug’ the hostile contact and make sure every ship feels supported and valued.”
  3. Be sure to incorporate women’s issues into your command philosophy. Think of things like wedding planning.
  4. Two words: intrusive leadership.
  5. Be careful with mission critical tasks. Remember, to a woman, naval service is just a hobby to give them a break from their work in the home.  So, at any moment, they might just abandon their shipmates and run home to their babies.  Thankfully, we men can tell our wives to take care of those pesky child care issues.  Plus, you never know what a woman will do to get out of work.
  6. Look after their mental health. Women making explosive claims could be suffering from hysteria.  Connect them with a mental health professional immediately.  If this hysteria spreads, the men will become confused and they may begin to question their own beliefs, which would impact their lethality.
  7. Treat them like family. It’s always best to impose your sense of morality and family values on your subordinates.  Treat women in your command like your daughters and wives.  If a sailor’s outfit on liberty makes you uncomfortable, make her change.  Have your Supply Officer stock these handy robes just in case.
  8. Show them you care. As with men, it’s important to let your female subordinates know you’re invested in them personally.  Ask her how the breastfeeding is going.  Tell her that perfume reminds you of your wife.  Forming that close personal bond will pay dividends.  Bonus: you might find out she’s totally into you!

So, gentlemen, hopefully with this guide you’ll be able to wh- oh, wait… shhhhhh!  Here they come!

 

(what?!? Colonel Rusin is a woman? Ugh, fire the Research Department!)

Sir, it’s a flying…

in Uncategorized

What if all the unverified UFO sightings by navy pilots were just the most epic long con in history? Now that the Navy finally stopped ignoring the reports and introduced a new reporting procedure, the con is nearly complete…

I genuinely hope the first report from a naval aviator under the new procedure will be: “it was a long, cylindrical airframe, with two spherical objects at the base, and it seemed to throb as it penetrated our airspace.”

The 5Gs and Poo Parades

in Podcasts

In the latest episode of Salt Force One, we discuss the future of global telecommunications, the relative merits of poo parades, and many other very important issues.  Enjoy!  Don’t forget to SUBSCRIBE on your favorite podcast platform!

Ep03 – The 5Gs and Poo Parades

Also, early 5G adopter The Prince of Darkness… “What the hell is a Bieber?!?”

Hobson’s Revenge

in Leadership/Navy Stuff

This post originally appeared on the USNI Blog here.

The Navy has long held fast to the standard of accountability immortalized in Vermont Royster’s 1952 Wall Street Journal editorial, “Hobson’s Choice.” If you’re reading this blog, I assume you’ve read it. I want you to read it again. This time, focus not on the exaltation of the Navy’s “cruel” standard of accountability, but rather the condemnation of American society’s accountability. Royster wrote “all around us … we see the plea accepted that what is done is beyond discussion, and that for good men in their human errors there should be afterwards no accountability” and “almost everywhere we have abandoned accountability. What is done is done and why torture men with asking them afterward, why?”

Fast forward to 2019. Does American society look like it did in 1952? Do we have the same standard of accountability in our society? I suggest we do not. Men (and women) are now held publicly accountable for events that transpired decades ago. There is no statute of limitations in the #MeToo movement, the relative merits of which are outside the scope of this article (so don’t @ me). Across the country, police face a reckoning due to biased treatment of minorities, however widespread, with sometimes lethal consequences. Anyone in the public eye, from athletes to celebrities to politicians, is subject to their social history being excavated and brought to light, sometimes ending their careers (again, I am not weighing in on whether this is right or wrong). The simple fact is our society in 2019 displays a high sense of accountability, even to the point of mob rule in some cases.

How does Royster’s comparison of the Navy’s and the broader American society’s standard of accountability hold up in 2019? What would he write if he could update his iconic article today? I argue that, while accountability in our society has gradually risen, our Navy’s standard has remained static by canonizing the “Hobson’s Choice” concept of accountability. CAPT Michael Junge said it wonderfully on Strategy Bridge:

“Today he would likely write much as he did in 1969 and call for a public accounting of the continuing aftermath of the U.S. Navy’s terrible summer of 2017 … Fifty years ago, Vermont Royster wrote that “it may seem cruel, this tradition of asking good and well-intentioned men to account for their deeds.” This accounting should not stop with the commanders at sea, but should also go to actions ashore, including how incidents like this are handled, and learned from.”

Royster never meant to claim the Navy had a perfect sense of accountability, only that the Navy had a higher sense of accountability than American society in 1952, and rightfully so. Today, we still hold Commanding Officers of ships to the “Hobson’s Choice” standard, but we see all around us examples of wayward officers and sailors who benefit from the uniform they wear to evade public scrutiny or retire with full benefits. I believe, if not for the uniform, many of these shipmates would face a higher (or at least the same) standard of accountability from the American public. Is that the dynamic we in the Navy should strive for?

Which brings me to the final adjudication of the cases against the USS FITZGERALD CO, CDR Bryce Benson, and Tactical Action Officer, LT Natalie Combs. Last Wednesday, the Navy announced the Chief of Naval Operations will dismiss all charges against them, and the Secretary of the Navy will issue both a Letter of Censure. The officers were dismissed from their jobs, received non-judicial (administrative) punishment, and issued letters. That is a far cry from the original charges of negligent homicide, which arguably were always an overreach. The Navy certainly faced trouble in prosecuting these cases, and it may turn out we have more to learn from events after the collisions, than before. Still, is this accountability? According to USNI News, a letter sent to the families of the fallen “concludes with the service promising ‘to provide updates on significant information related to accountability actions and the Navy’s corrective measures to improve the safety and security of our people and our operations. Your loved ones did not die in vain; their legacy lives in the form of a stronger and more capable Navy.’”

What would Vermont Royster think? What do you think? I’ll finish with this: the day after the Navy announced final adjudication of the cases against Benson and Combs, we announced the nomination of the next CNO. Anyone casually following Navy news – not just a suspicious SWO – has to wonder whether the two announcements are related. It’s understandable that the current CNO would want to bring this saga to a close before the end of his term, but the obvious question now is: did career timing somehow factor into the final pursuit of justice and accountability? Even if not, the timing only serves to fuel the notion that our ideal of accountability at sea has devolved into complacency in accountability writ large. Our decades-long unquestioning devotion to “Hobson’s Choice” may now be having its inevitable revenge. Whether you believe individual or systemic accountability is most necessary, we are a now at risk of achieving neither. Perhaps it’s time we re-examine our venerated standard of accountability in the Navy.

New Opportunity for Young Strategists: Defense Analyst First Tour

in Announcements/Navy Stuff

This is a guest post by Midshipman Briney Von Saltington VIII, which originally appeared on the USNI Blog here.

Developing the next generation of strategic thinkers is critical to securing our national interests in the Era of Great Power Competition. We need officers who understand global military strategy from Day One. That is why I signed up for the first cohort of the Navy’s new Defense Analyst First Tour (DAFT) program.

A couple weeks ago, World Politics Review published an article by Steven Metz advocating for strategic education early in officers’ careers, and highlighting the value of certain “homegrown” military strategy consortia (although no mention of <cough> the U.S. Naval Institute, or <cough> CIMSEC). This article met strong criticism in the military blogosphere, so I thought I would explain the value of my DAFT career path. This is called “strategic communication.” When talking to senior officers, I find it is most effective to explain strategic concepts using quotes and short sentences.

As a DAFT midshipman, I will graduate with a degree in public policy and immediately join the team at OPNAV N5879X. My job will be to write quarterly strategic assessments, based on random articles from various military blogs I periodically check when I’m curious if any of them cited my published papers. My first order of business as a DAFT officer will be to publish my strategic masterpiece, Lethal Third Offset 5G Offshore Balancing Strategies for Great Power Competition in the A2AD Grey Zone, which is mostly a collection of my hot takes on strategic current events. I expect it to be a roaring success, as I have painstakingly regurgitated DoD and Navy leaders’ favorite buzzwords.

I was selected to be DAFT based on the quality of my senior thesis, The Influence of Sea Power Upon History: 2017–2019. With DAFT JOs influencing naval strategy in the decades to come, we will have the opportunity to shape the fate of the nation using the news and analysis provided to us by our social media networks. Some would call this “recency bias,” but I prefer to think of it as being unencumbered by the boredom of history.

When you go DAFT, you get to skip all that tactical and technical detail that many junior officers obsess over. Things like leading a division, flying a helicopter, and running a propulsion system are hardly relevant in the really important matters, such as nuclear brinkmanship and the big data revolution. In the fleet, we will fill shipboard policy and strategy officer (PSO) billets, where we will develop strategic plans for each individual ship. #DistributedStrategy!

DAFT is modeled on naval aviation’s highly successful SERGRAD program, in which highly qualified student naval aviators are selected to go directly to instructor training, and then return to flight school to teach new students how to fly naval aircraft. When an idea works in one particular instance, we all know it’s best to apply it universally. Since SERGRAD has been so successful, it was pretty much a “no-brainer” for the Navy to create an equivalent career path for naval strategists. As in, I am fairly certain nobody gave the decision much thought.

Most midshipmen spend their summers integrating with the fleet to gain firsthand experience with the various Navy communities, complement their education, and help them select their career paths. DAFT midshipmen, however, spend their summers interning with Washington, D.C.-based think tanks, getting indoctrinated into the unique American brand of military strategy. I chose to intern with The Salty Herald, one of the most innovative, cutting edge think tanks around. It’s a great workplace, although Saltron is a pain.

#Resist Trumprruption!

in Life Hacks
Resist
Resist

There has been plenty of talk about the Mueller Report over the years. Hell, you’ve been able to pre-order it on Amazon for over a month. After ol’ Special Counsel Bob (herein Super Bob) finished his investigation, it was Attorney General Bill Barr’s (herein Billy-Bar) duty to provide a summary of the findings to congress and the general public has been able to read along. This isn’t good enough! We need to read the entire report and the lack of release can only be explained by one word: Trumprruption (it’s like corruption, but Trumpier … and maybe orange).

So how to we #resist the Trumprruption? That’s easy! Congress needs to pass a new law for this very specific situation without any thought to how it will affect future situations. There is no way that a decision congress makes today, purely about special investigations, could backfire on anyone years later.

#Resist Trumprruption! Pass laws now! This unjustifiable censorship of truth will not stand!

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