The DoD Policy on Marijuana Finally Makes Sense, Because I Am Way High

in Epiphanies

This post originally appeared on the U.S. Naval Institute Blog here.

I just vaped some CBD oil, and I am out of my mind high right now. Now I totally get why DoD and the VA don’t want me, or anyone ever affiliated with U.S. national security, to get anywhere near marijuana, cannabis oil extract, hemp necklaces, patchouli, blacklight posters, or Wiz Khalifa songs.

Firing this civilian military professor for using CBD oil to help him deal with the effects of prostate cancer makes total sense now. So does Inception. Everything is so clear now.

After staring into a bowl of Lucky Charms for half an hour, I understand now why we don’t want our veterans using medical marijuana to help them overcome PTSD and recover from physical injuries. Veteran suicide and homelessness could become real problems!

No, no, my shih tzu is telling me they should stick to the medicine their doctors prescribe them, and I agree! Marijuana is just too dangerous!

Chemically altering your brain is bad, and DoD should hold the line on its current policies. Period. Now please excuse me, I have to catch a cigarette while the smoking lamp is lit, and XO ordered me to catch the sale on gallons of grain alcohol at the package store for the grog bowl at the ship’s Dining In tonight.

P.S. You know what I can’t stand? Anonymous writers taking pot shots at hard-working people (lol, sorry, terrible weed pun)! I’ll “come out” soon enough. Salty just has a few more things to say. Stay tuned!

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