Introducing Public Affairs Lethality

in Life Hacks/Navy Stuff

In today’s Navy, everything is lethal.  Our guns are lethal.  Our missiles are lethal.  Our base housing is lethal.  Now, even our public affairs are lethal.  Whenever we encounter a narrative that’s unflattering to the Navy, we kill it by suppressing negative commentary and boosting positive commentary.  #PAOlethality baby!!!

Our reputation as the world’s greatest Navy is under attack, and we are #semperfortis!  Actual reform and investment?  These things take time.  Our spokesmen and women are ready to #fighttonight!

But we need your help!  This is a #deckplateleadership issue!  Quite frankly, its disappointing that you’ve allowed so many negative stories to surface recently.  From base housing conditions, to collisions at sea, to Fat Leonard…your leadership failures have really let us down.  To fix your mistakes, we created the PAO Lethality Task Force, and we developed 1,396 initiatives, 1,391 of which have already been implemented (what have you done lately?). Here’s a sampling of what we’ve already accomplished:

  1. We directed flag officers to reduce communications with the press. #gagorder
  2. We restricted public access to aviation mishap data. #needtoknow
  3. We stopped publicly announcing the names of officials fired for misconduct. #looselipssinkships
  4. We stopped publicly announcing flag officer nominations. #OPSECIguess?
  5. Our Chief of Information personally boosted commentary supportive to “Big Navy.” #definitelyNOTunlawfulcommandinfluence
  6. We repeatedly quote MCPON verbatim whenever anyone posts a critical comment to the CNO Facebook Live All Hands Call. #overwhelmingforce

And here’s what we need from YOU:

  1. For God’s sake, get your family in line! Just don’t let them talk to anyone, especially not on social media. If they complain about something, just tell them to stop being entitled snowflakes and get #Navytough!
  2. Whatever you do, DO NOT communicate with ProPublica, so help me…
  3. When Grammy asks you what you do in the Navy, look her straight in the eye and tell her “You’ll get the Navy America needs, and that’s all you need to know!” #OPSECsaveslives
  4. Do not post anything online unless its an official story. Commentary from Bryan McGrath is also okay. #BigNavyiswatching
  5. If something happens on your watch that might garner media attention, immediately classify the information in the interest of national security. #AmericaFirst!

Remember, shipmates, winning the battle of the narrative is up to you! To paraphrase one of our great leaders, if you can’t control the narrative and accomplish the mission with the resources you have, we’ll find someone who will!

#corevalues #hooyah #lethalPAOlethality!


    • Thanks for this narrative and it is long overdue. We/us have undeniably disclosed our negative thoughts and experiences at a global scale and the media has thrived on what could be considered an easy target where we self-commit and loathe about what ails us. Let’s put things in perspective, we deliver sea superiority and and global security at a scale never seen before while stretching an overtaxed fleet to its breaking point. If the American people knew half the commitment and sacrifice these young sailors give daily there would be absolutely no negative press for our surface fleet. Think about this, what news do we hear about the Air Force or Submarine fleet? Nothing!

      • It is unfortunate to have self-directed criticism exploited for media gains as these are some of the most important criticisms. If the Air Force starts discussing problems within the Navy, it will likely be resisted as tribal bluster of superiority. When someone stands up and says “We can do better in these specific ways,” it comes with a goal of improving the group. When a group can’t self-police, that group fails so it undermines the long-term health to whitewash bad stories. If it “never happened,” there is nothing to improve. Imagine – “The Navy has made zero effort to fix [list of issues]. This shows a sick organization with poor leadership so we’re going to put the Marines in charge of fixing these problems.”

        The good news – I do believe the American people stand behind all of the military branches, even with only having a superficial awareness of the commitment and sacrifice involved. I also think negative Navy stories feel like a bigger deal to active and retired members of the Navy than to John Q Public (as they rightfully should). I would be willing to bet US public awareness of any specific negative story about the Navy, a month or more after being published, is less than US awareness of lacrosse rules.

  1. Shipmate, we hear plenty about the Air Force. Submarine force? Well they don’t call ’em the silent service for nothing! Your comments are an exaggeration but I get your point. We’re always gonna get some negative press, but who cares? You’re right, the good definitely outweighs the bad. We can’t rely on the sacrifice of sailors alone. We need effective management and adequate resourcing. Time to do a full accounting, let the chips fall, then the work of our sailors can carry the day without pushing them to the breaking point. Press coverage is just a reflection.

  2. Thanks for the pic! “Rat” Willard, one of the good ones. You may have seen his names rolled thru the credits.

  3. This article is a crock of shit. “Whenever we encounter a narrative that’s unflattering to the Navy, we kill it by suppressing negative commentary and boosting positive commentary.” So you’re admitting to silencing the voices of those you simply just seem “unflattering”? This really is pushed further with the whole “actual reform takes time”, you’re right, and you can easily get distracted and sidelined, so sometimes the constant public reminder is what is needed. This whole article is {literally} what is wrong with the Navy, people being silenced to “save the Navy’s image”, THIS IS WHY SOME PEOPLE DON’T GO TO MAST AND OTHERS DO. YOU’RE FUCKING NORMALISING THE BEHAVIOR OF SHOVING THINGS UNDER THE RUG, AND THIS IS WHY THE NAVY IS SO FUCKED AS IT IS. Fuck you, and fuck you again for being a commissioned officer and this is how you decide to show “deckplate leadership”, by normalising the hiding of information and declaring it as “PAO lethality”. Go get fucked faggot.

    • There is so much going on here, I am not even sure if you missed the satire, or if you’re just mad at everything, but you might want to take a look at the puddle of hate vomit that just spewed from your fingertips if you want to know what’s wrong with the Navy. Take deep breaths, read, listen, pause, reflect, then react.

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